Rina Goldenberg Lynch, Founder and Managing Director of Voice at the Table, shares her positive experience and practical tips on how she carefully managed her career progression while taking out time for her young children and family. With upcoming changes to parental leave rights, balancing career and family is an ever increasing challenge that both mother and fathers face.
I have recently had a number of conversations with women who are currently on maternity leave and/or extended break from work about going back. One of the themes that frequently surfaces is how to preserve the good will we develop with our line manager and to ensure they don’t see us as someone who is no longer interested in a career, given our ensuing plans to grow our family.
I realised that when I went on my first (and then second) maternity leave, I took certain steps to ensure that my job was there for me when I returned and that I would re-enter at the same level and with the same credibility as when I took that temporary side step to look after a child. So what did I do?
The first conversation
Before announcing to my line manager that I was expecting, I agonised about every aspect of it:
- When is the best time to tell him?
- How do I say this in a way that will not diminish my professional commitment?
- How do I reassure him of my own career ambitions?
- What is he going to be worried about?
I knew that, whatever I said, he may not be persuaded, but I decided to lay the foundation and to continue to reassure him throughout my leave and, ultimately, when I return to work.
So, when the timing was right, I finally had that conversation, and it went something like this:
“I’ve got some great news – at least from my husband’s and my perspective: we’re expecting our first child… I plan to take [x] number of months off, but then I intend to return and to resume exactly where I left off. I want to reassure you of my professional ambition and, while I look forward to starting a family, my commitment to my career remains as strong as ever and, as previously discussed, I would like to remain on track for that promotion we are aiming for.”
With that I had hoped to (1) establish the importance of this event to my life, (2) establish the importance of my career in this context, (3) convey my understanding of the inconvenience that my temporary leave would cause him as a manager of a team, (4) reassure my manager of my intentions to return and resume my job as before, and (5) re-confirm my professional aspirations for my career progression.
Keeping-in-touch
Although I did no work on my maternity leave, I took the baby into the office when he was a few months old and reconnected with my colleagues. I wanted them to feel part of an extended family – which work colleagues often become – and share with them this most important aspect of my personal life. I also took the opportunity to ask after the job, how it was going, how my cover was performing, whether there had been any developments or changes in the company which might be of interest, and to generally convey a continued interest in the professional side of my life.
Preparing to return to work
Having corresponded with my line manager on a couple of occasions to reiterate my return date to work (which had not changed since I initially conveyed it), I also prepared a “return to work” email for my manager to be sent a month before coming back. In this email, I repeated much of what I had said in our first meeting about my leave, reiterating my desire to return and resume as discussed and agreed, and also mentioning that I hoped to continue to be on track for that promotion we had discussed (and, if not, I asked to clarify what stood between me and the promotion).
After a few days, I finally received a positive reply on all fronts, including my upcoming promotion!
The first week back
When the day to return finally approached, I was extremely apprehensive and unsure of myself. I wasn’t sure whether I still remembered how to do my job, whether having a child may have impacted on how I think and work and how I would feel about leaving my child behind, in the care of another.
Once back at the office, I gradually realised that my ability to perform the job did not diminish; it all came flooding back to me like riding a bike! There were a couple of market developments on which I needed to catch up but, once I had done that, I was back in the saddle. I also noticed that the only impact that having a child had on me professionally was a positive one: it made me more efficient and productive! Now that I wanted to get back to my son as soon as I could, I packed in an intensive day at work, cutting out the chit chat and coffees, I had short, efficient meetings, I wrote succinct and clear emails and focused on delivering what the business asked for, no more and no less. This did not go unnoticed: at my semi-annual appraisal, my line manager commented on how I had become even more efficient than before and how pleased he was with my performance.
As for leaving my son in the hands of another, I admit, that was the most difficult part. But gradually, both he and I got used to it and he learned to enjoy the company of others as much as I enjoyed my job. And when we were together, we enjoyed our time together and caught up on any mother-and-child bonding that we both needed.
What about the second time?
That was much easier – I had already created a precedent on what worked and followed it to the tee. I had no trepidations about taking as much time off as I thought was reasonable for myself, understanding that, in the context of a long and sustainable career, whatever time I took off for my children would be nothing but a blip. And in my long tenor with this particular company, that’s exactly how it worked.
What about returning from a longer break?
I acknowledge, it is much trickier to come back to work after having been out for a few years. Having seen many friends and colleagues do it, however, I now believe that it is all a matter of preparation: taking the time to prepare oneself psychologically, understand the values of coming back to work, believing that children thrive when their parents work and don’t need us to be their sole carers, working out how to prepare to increase our self-confidence and presentation, and then simply going for as many interviews as possible.
My career is part of who I am as much as my family is, and I don’t believe anyone would benefit if I were to sacrifice one part of who I am to benefit another.
About the author
Rina Goldenberg Lynch, Founder and Managing Director of Voice At The Table, has 20 years of experience as a City lawyer and executive and a wealth of skills that a corporate career imparts. She started her legal career with the US Government in Washington DC, worked as a banking lawyer with Clifford Chance LLP in London and as a Director with the legal department of ING Bank.
Over the past three years, Rina has been working on diversity and inclusion (D&I) matters, helping develop D&I strategy and initiatives. In addition, she has been mentoring and coaching women in the corporate, not-for-profit and entrepreneurial sectors. In 2013, she founded Voice At The Table, a Diversity and Inclusion Consultancy, specialising in empowering women to contribute their best in a confident, spirited and authentic manner.
In addition to her other qualifications, Rina is a Level 5 qualified trainer with the Institute of Leadership and Management, an Accredited Associate Executive Coach and has extensive experience in negotiation, design and delivery of tailored training programs and presentations to large and varied audiences.
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