As Family Mediation Week draws to a close, I’ve been reflecting on how far we’ve come over the past year. And I’ve decided to be optimistic.
Last year, I blogged about how the pandemic created both challenges and opportunities for separating couples, many of which are still relevant now (although thankfully not alongside the joys of compulsory home schooling). Online mediation continues to be popular and continues to work, providing a space for couples to talk virtually with the convenience of joining from the comfort of your own home.
Mediation is often put on a pedestal as one of the best ways for couples to sort things out when they separate. It isn’t appropriate for everyone though, particularly where there are safety concerns, but for everyone else the potential benefits make it the obvious place at least to start discussions.
We should not, however, underestimate the courage it takes to start mediation, to take control of the situation, the agenda and the conversations. It is an opportunity for parents to be role models for their children, to show them how adults can resolve things together.
The mediator’s role is to build a bespoke process for each couple, bringing in other professionals where appropriate and helping to break deadlocks and reality check proposals.
Mediation can be daunting, but it is built on foundations of respectful communication, problem solving instead of point scoring and centring discussions around children and their needs going forwards.
Of course some issues may simply not be capable of agreement, but for me even in those cases mediation is still the best place to discuss what other non-court options might work, to make another plan that builds on the progress already made. Conversations in mediation can cut through days and weeks of email tennis and set the right tone for other dispute resolution paths and future collaboration – in the immortal words of Bob Hoskins: “It’s good to talk” (still ringing true in 2022).
Further Information
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About the Author
Lauren Evans is a senior associate in the family team with experience of all types of private family work relating to both children and finances. Lauren is also a mediator and helps clients to work through the practical and legal issues arising from family relationship breakdown.
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